i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize