i don't plan on having that self control this summer
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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