I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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