quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
