Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize