Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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(513): View more from Ohio

corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal

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(818): View more from California

The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it

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(239): View more from Florida

I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.

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