Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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