O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
