doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My feet surprised me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
