Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
