this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
