He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
