Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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