is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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