I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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