Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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