Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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