no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
A+ Viking dick
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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