I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize