the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's never too late to be topless.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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