In the future we'll all be gay
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
