Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
