I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
