Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
