you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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