Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize