VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
