Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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