ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize