Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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