EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
