Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
