In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
