He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
