we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
