What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
