everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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