I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
