Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We had sex on a dog bed..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
