He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
