so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize