Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
we should paint friendship bongs
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