Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
