can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
