Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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