I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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