he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
