Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
