Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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