Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
