I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
