It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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