You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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