I heard we made out
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
