Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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