I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You are the jesus of drinking
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
im on a boat
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