Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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