Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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