Im at strip club and am horny
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
