Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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