You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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