how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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