trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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