He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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