we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize