I smell stomach acid.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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