i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
