Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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