Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
