Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Who died my cat blue again?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
