i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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