That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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