there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
