who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
