i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
