hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
