You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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