is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize