So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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